A friend of mine recently inquired about my gall bladder surgery and recovery last year and I honestly couldn't remember how it all went (and that it was only just a year ago!?) so I went back to read my post about it and from there I couldn't stop...
It was like I was reading someone else's story. It's hard to believe that just a year ago I was filled with so much worry and doubt that I would ever have another child and now here I sit with my handsome son in my arms.
One of the hardest parts to read/remember is the beginning of Jacob's pregnancy when we were on our Summer road trip and I was convinced I was miscarrying again with how much I was bleeding - it hurts to admit that I tried to emotionally give up on that cycle and ignore my pregnancy symptoms so I didn't ruin our trip - but thankfully my boy didn't give up on me...he nuzzled himself in there very nicely and knew he was there to stay.
& that part of the story turns into one of the best moments when we finally made it home and I was able to get an appointment with my OB, there he was....our rainbow baby not even bigger than my fingernail, but his little heart flickering filled me with so much hope. It brings tears to my eyes to think about that very first ultrasound - I went in so defeated and came out on cloud 9. My prayers were answered.
I am so thankful that I chose to document it all here, the good and the bad - because sometimes it is good to remember where you've been so you can truly appreciate what you have. & Even though it was some of the darkest days of my life...I don't want to forget because that would mean forgetting about the two babies that we were so ready to love and heartbroken to lose. Sometimes when I am holding Jacob I think of them and long to hold them in my arms too. It's hard not to imagine that they would look just like RaeAnn and Jacob and be just as laidback- what can I say we make really good babies.
God gave us Jacob. He knew he was the perfect fit for our family & that he is :)
No comments:
Post a Comment