Good Days and Bad Days

Have you seen Disney's Brave? Well if you haven't here is a bit of a spoiler, the Queen turns into Bear and the longer she is a bear the more bear like her behavior becomes. Merida, her daughter that had the spell cast on her,  recognizes that the Queen's eyes turn all black when she is more of a bear than a human and Merida is able to talk her mom back into being aware of herself again. But Merida realizes that each time it gets harder and harder to talk her back and she is running out of time until not even magic would be able to turn her mother human again.
It is how I feel with Jacob, even before anyone mentioned Autism to us. His meltdowns have just been so intense in the last two months I feel helpless during them, I don't know how to reach him. It is why I turned to early intervention.
He has his good days where his tantrums are minimal and he is showing progress, using new words and problem solving. But his bad days scare me, his bad days I worry that if we don't get through to him soon we are going to lose him. You here these stories from moms who say they had a "normal" baby and then they just shut down, lost in their own worlds. Ya know the ones who claim it was the immunizations that did it to them. & I am definitely not on that bandwagon, but I can sympathize with those mom's who needed to be able to blame someone or something for what was happening with their babies.

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I was in the process of writing this entry last week when I took a break from writing and I went to get the mail and Jacob's official EI report, all seven pages, was there.  The length shocked me most of all but nothing that was written was new news to us. However it helped me to recap the eval appointment and reassess what they thought and helped me to get my thoughts and questions ready for out next appointment which is on Tuesday. This appointment will put together his IFSP. I am very anxious to get his actual services started so that we can start understanding Jacob better and doing all we can for him, aside from loving him unconditionally and still having so much fun with our favorite boy! 

First swim of the summer, Thurman said Jaoob is more of a frog than a fish...he likes the water but he'd rather be on land or in shallower water, complete opposite of his sister!!