the right choice

I was having some cold feet about my upcoming surgery on Friday. I had read some articles online about the diet afterwards and possible side effects and I didn't like what I was reading. I began trying to convince myself that I could get away with keeping my gall bladder. If I started eating right, I would be able to try and reduce the chances of an attack and be relatively healthy. Then I got excited, if I canceled my surgery we could start trying this weekend! Which of course only clouded my judgment more!

I talked about it a lot with Thurman, my mom, my brother, and my dad...3 out 4 agreed with me that it wouldn't be the worst idea to cancel...but I also prayed about it, and when I went to church Sunday morning, I listened. He reminded me of the past year, of my empty arms...and I knew I would have to have the surgery.
If I did not want to have any more babies, I would probably keep it, it hasn't caused me too much trouble but God is telling me the right choice is to make sure I am 100% healthy before I continue on my journey. How selfish would I feel if I canceled my surgery, got pregnant, and had another miscarriage, I would forever think that if I just had it out, if I just waited a couple more months I could have had a healthy pregnancy.
And if by chance I have a third miscarriage after my surgery, well at least I will know I did everything possible to make sure I was healthy.

No one ever told me that my gall bladder was the cause of my miscarriages, but I am starting to believe that is what God is trying to tell me. The 5 doctors I talked to about my gall stones over the past 4 years have told me that they will only get worse with each pregnancy. I just always had an excuse to not have it taken care of then.
And now I can't help this nagging feeling that maybe I miscarried to prevent possible complications (or worse...) that my gall bladder could have caused during my pregnancies.
So this time I am going to listen to God and I will have the surgery and I will keep on praying and trusting in Him.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1