My surgery isn't scheduled until the end of the May which means now we won't be able to try again until September. And have I mentioned that we are kinda of on a time line? Come February 2012, Thurman can be deployed at anytime and I kinda need him home to make a baby so that gives a 5 month window to get the job done.
My heart is broken and I can't do anything but wait to fix it. I was looking foward to trying again this month, not having surgery. Now all I want to do is give up. I want to be able to say I don't even want to have another baby. I don't want to wait. Especially since all this waiting may just lead to more heartache. We should just quit now while we are "ahead", move on, and continue to spoil RaeAnn rotten...
I want to take all of the baby stuff we have been saving straight to the dumpster, we're paying $20 a month to keep all this stuff in storage and we may never use it again! And it's just a constant reminder of what we don't have.
I don't think I have been this angry before over this, but the bitterness and rage is flowing out of me, I don't know how to deal with it all, I am so done.
Sometimes it helps to let out all the rage. Unleash it here, and then go back to your beautiful family and enjoy the good times. Happiness is a healthier feeling. I know you'll have another baby, even if it takes a little longer than you'd like. I know it'll happen for you. And props on the school decision!
ReplyDeleteJill I'm sorry I can't imagine how frustrating this all must be for you!
ReplyDeleteKristen, April 27 at 11:59am
Hey lady, sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. Miss you and hope you feel better soon. Mwah! Xoxo Emily, April 27 at 2:54pm
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