I may not be back to normal yet (or even close!) but I couldn't let my house go for one more day. RaeAnn's toys were everywhere, dirty clothes piled high, the kitchen was a mess, I hadn't vacuumed in over a week... Ugh I hate a messy house. But for the past week I just couldn't care less. I finally took care of things yesterday, even though between each chore I would sit back down for a while and feel sorry for myself some more. At least I got it done.
I just couldn't ignore all the ridiculous thoughts going through my head...all day long I am consumed with thoughts about what I might have done wrong or what could possibly be wrong with me. I asked Thurman last night what he thought would be easier to deal with... to find out there is something wrong that they can fix or find out it we just have really bad luck...(he thinks the latter would be easier, he is afraid if something is wrong it won't be able to be fixed) to me either way it is going to be hard moving forward. I can't even escape my worries in my dreams...I haven't sleeping been well because I am constantly waking up from crazy dreams and nightmares.
I think I need to consider some counseling...it's just a matter of finding the energy to deal with my insurance co. to get a referral...
No comments:
Post a Comment