dreams

I had the most wonderful dream last night. I got to hold my baby. He was a beautiful baby boy and looked just like RaeAnn. The weird part in my dream was that he was living with another family and I couldn't remember if we had given him up for adoption or if we had given the family some embyo's since they were not able to get pregnant on their own. Thurman and RaeAnn were there with me and we were so happy to meet him and have a good relationship with his new parents but something just felt off and it bothered me the entire time trying to figure out why he wasn't ours. He was incredibly loved by his new parents and just as laidback as a newborn as RaeAnn was. I spent my dream teaching him to stand up on his own and he just couldn't stop smiling at me.

After the last miscarriage I had a dream about a baby girl and if RaeAnn wasn't there too I would have thought I was just dreaming about her as an infant since the resemblance was uncannily but I realized the baby I was holding was the baby I had lost. In that dream we were trying to run away with her but I woke up before we got to where we were going. I remember in that dream my baby had a name, Aster. Not a name we have ever discussed, but that was her name.

I have always been intrigued with trying to understand dreams and I used to keep a dream dictionary by my bed to "decode" my dreams in the morning. It's a lot of fun and incredibly interesting to find out what dreaming of a tornado symbolizes or what does it mean when you dream of your teeth falling out!!
Of course dreams like these don't really need decoding though do they? But these dreams are a great source of comfort. Whether it is just my own imagination running wild in my subconscious or something more powerful, I woke up with a smile on my face and warm feeling in my heart.

Just a quick little fun story about the freakiest dream I ever had...I had lost my good luck charm in real life, a little ceremic lady bug that I always made sure to have in my pocket when I was traveling. I had completely tore my dorm room apart looking every where for it and had given up and pretty much forgot about it when my great grandma came to me in a dream and said it's right here under you bed. The next morning I woke up, pulled my bed from my wall and there it was, sitting right on top of a box exactly where she showed me it was. I know I had looked under my bed for it when I tore my room apart and I was in complete disbelief that it just magically appeared. Like I said freaky, but totally amazing!