time for testing already...

I thought I was going to have to wait another week or two or even a month until it was time to start running tests and getting answers, but my doctor's office called today to schedule an appointment to go through some autoimmune testing. It just consists of multiple blood draws so getting it done won't be a big deal, but waiting for the results will be. I am worried, especially since I've read everything possible article on google about autoimmune diseases and pregnancy. The one that seems to be most common with recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) is called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS). And of course we won't know the results of that one for at least six weeks since they have to repeat it to make sure it is accurate.

APS (also known as Hughes Syndrome or "sticky blood syndrome") from what I've gathered, is a blood clotting disorder where they find little blood clots in your blood, which aren't necessarily harmful to you, but would be harmful to an unborn baby when they pass through your placenta. You can have APS by it's self (primary APS) but it can be a symptom of Lupus (Secondary APS) so I will also be tested for that as well. Also on the list of tests are MS, something to do with the thyroid and a couple others. I will be praying my heart out until I get the results that everything comes back OK. This is some scary stuff. I am optimistic though, besides the multiple miscarriages I feel completely healthy and I don't think I have any other signs and symptoms to make me worry about it being something serious.

What I am most worried about is the blood clot one. Back in 2004 I was having chest pain and the ER doctor was convinced it was a pulmonary embolism, luckily my CT came back clear but my PT/PTT (A blood test for blood clots) came back abnormal. The Doctor said since my CT was clear it wasn't really anything to worry about. He sent me home with a diagnosis of pleurisy and I never had any issues like it again.
Now I want to strangle that doctor!! Why didn't he tell me to follow up with my primary care doctor to see if my blood work really was abnormal?! Why wasn't I smart enough to do set up an appointment myself!? What if I have had this disease since 2004!
Thinking about that scares me to death! What if I had this disorder when I was pregnant with RaeAnn...I know it is crazy to think like that, but I can't help it.
I remember when we went in for our first appointment at 12 weeks with RaeAnn. The doctor couldn't find her heartbeat and I started crying. She reassured me we just needed to take a look because sometimes the uterus is too low to be able to hear anything. Thank goodness she was right, as soon as she put the ultrasound wand on my belly there was little RaeAnn kicking up a storm, with a very strong flickering heartbeat!! I think back now what if she turned on the ultrasound and we didn't see anything... I can not even begin to imagine, it makes me sick to think about it.
Another complication with pregnancy and APS is preeclampsia, which I did end up with and had to deliver RaeAnn at 35 weeks. Luckily she was a very healthy (very big!!) preemie. I just remember feeling so guilty that I couldn't carry her full term. The doctors then said there was no way to know what caused the preeclampsia. But now I am thinking, what if I do have APS and I what if I had it when I was pregnant with RaeAnn, She really would be a miracle baby.
We are so INCREDIBLY lucky to have RaeAnn, we never ever forget that.

Another reason to be thankful for RaeAnn is that the doctor said having a healthy baby is the best genetic test there is. Having RaeAnn rules out any possibilities of a genetic disorder. So we won't need to go through any of that testing.

I know I am getting worked up and freaking out before I even know what is going on...but that is just in my nature. I should be thankful this doctor is doing all these tests after just two miscarriage as opposed to waiting for a possible third, and that he starting the testing ASAP so that means hopefully we will know what's going on and we'll be able to start trying again when we are ready.

My appointment is Tuesday morning, until then I just need to block Google from my computer, take a chill pill, relax, and PRAY!!!!