Guilt

I still haven't miscarried so I feel like I can't move on, like I shouldn't be trying to heal until everything passes. I get angry when I think of what I still have to go through until I can truly move on. I've been considering calling the doctor to schedule a d&c just so this can be over with sooner. But thinking about taking matters into my own hands makes me sick, I know I am going to end up waiting it out, I just keep praying it happens soon. I want to be back to "normal".

Tonight, Thurman and I were watching The Office before bed and Michael Scott needed to declare bankruptcy, so he comes out of his office in front of everyone and screams "I decalare bankruptcy" it is hilarious!! And I busted out laughing, Thurman laughed at me, I laughed so hard. But I started feeling guilty, I know it is ok to laugh and it is probably really good for me, but I just don't want to be happy right now.