church

I've was raised Catholic but never went to church on a regular basis as a kid. When I felt something missing in my life as a young single Airman, I turned to the church and truly enjoyed going but I couldn't keep up with it because of my crazy work schedule.
I had RaeAnn baptized in the church even though I hadn't attended mass in over 3 years. It was important for me to do it, but not for the right reasons...
It wasn't until the fall of 2009 that I finally started making the conscious effort to attend mass regularly. I had been my younger sister's sponsor at her confirmation and the homily the Bishop gave really touched me. & with Thurman gone in Turkey, I needed something to keep me centered and focused. So my mom and I joined my Aunt and her family at their church and it was wonderful. RaeAnn was even pretty well behaved....most Sundays ;) The priest was personable and had a great message every weekend and it seemed to really speak to me. It never failed that the reading that week directly corresponded to what was going on in my life. I was so happy to finally have a true connection with my religion and with God. We had definitely made the right decision to bring the church into our lives.
Over the last 2 1/2 years though the church has gone through 3 priests! From what I gather, they have tried to close this church down a couple of times but it has remained open, but they still can not find a permanent priest to take on the responsibilities so other priests from local parishes have taken us on as well as their own church. Which is certainly a lot to ask of anyone. There are two priests who help out a retired priest (the priest who actually baptized me 28 years ago!) and a priest from Ni.geria. and they are not a set schedule so you never know who will be there every Sunday.
I have definitely had my favorites....and I have connected with some of the priests more than others...The newest priest is not like the last two, he is very subdued and to the point and I just haven't been getting anything from him and the priest from Ni.geria has such a thick accent it is so hard to understand what he is saying.
I have been feeling so disconnected from it all because of all the changes which has really upset me. My religion and God have brought me to this point in my life and I felt as if I was letting them down because I was starting to view church as chore and an obligation. I felt like I have grown so close to God over the past year with my struggles to stay pregnant and I didn't want God to think that I didn't need church anymore just because I got what I wanted. In fact it is the complete opposite. I need Him and my religion more than ever. Ever since I got pregnant this time I have been looking forward to having the baby baptized and when the last priest left I was highly disappointed he wouldn't be there to do since he it was his sermons that got me through some of my toughest days.
Now Every Sunday I say I am not going to bother but, with hope to feel the connection again I drag myself only to be let down...So I made a big decision this week and that was to try a new church(technically not new, it was the church I was confirmed in and where I had RaeAnn baptized) & it was a really good decision. I felt renewed after participating in mass with the new church and instantly reconnected. I am sad to leave my old church which helped me through so much. I will miss seeing my Aunt every week and all the other friendly parishioners we have met over the past 2 1/2 years, but I don't go to church to socialize, I need the connection. So I am really hoping this new church is the right fit for me and this past Sunday wasn't just a fluke!