day 4: my parents

ahhh my lovely parents...I don't know if they read this, so I should be nice just in case, right?? hmm I'll try ;)

My mom and dad divorced when I was young, I only have one memory of them together and it was when I split my head open and they both held my hands when I got stitched up. I am not even sure if I actually remember it, or if I just remember the story... Either way I'm glad that's what I remember and that there are no bad memories of my parents divorce, not to say that it didn't effect me later in life, but my best friend's parents divorced when he was in middle school and it sucked.bad.
I lived with my mom and stepdad and saw my dad one weekend a month. My mom has 6 kids, so it was a pretty full house growing up. I am the 3rd oldest.
We would constantly bicker as mothers and daughters usually do, sometimes it was a little more than bickering...I didn't like her rules and the responsibilities I had taking care of my little brother and sister... I always thought I would be happier if I moved to my dad's, but my mom wouldn't let me, and I didn't know how to fight her about it.
Even through all of that I still considered myself pretty close with my mom, We never really talked much about what was going on in my life...it's not that she didn't care...it's just that she didn't have to. Somehow my mother instilled the fear of God in me so I never lied, I never snuck out, I never went to a party where there would be alcohol and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18! (remember in the last post when I said I led a very sheltered life? I wasn't kidding!!) I remember one night I was let out of work early and instead of calling my mom and telling her, I snuck over to Nick's house. I was there for maybe 10 minutes, I felt so stinking guilty, I went straight home!!! One of these days she is going to have to tell me her trick, especially since RaeAnn already tells us she loves all the "handsome boys at the playground!!"

Life was different at Dad's, because we only saw him once a month he made sure to make the most out of his time with us. Go karting, bike rides, mini golf, hiking mountains, out on his boat and always visiting with family. Weekends at Dad's were like mini vacations for my brother and I, a nice break from mom's full house. I only had to "compete" with one sibling for my dad's attention and even though he was dad's favorite, my dad still made sure to show me a lot of love.
He always listened to what we had to say and seemed genuinely interested in our lives.
My father's opinion has always been very important to me and although I didn't always "take it", I always listened.
He has always talked very openly with me and I think he found it pretty amusing when he tried to have the birds and bees talk with me when i was barely 13, it was pretty embarrassing when my father made sure I knew what a condom was!!! But that's my dad.
Did I mention he still wears a fanny pack? LOL.

As I grew up our relationship was strained. I made a big fuss when he purposed to his long time girlfriend. We didn't talk for two years and I didn't go to their wedding.
I'll just say it started getting harder and harder being a kid with divorced parents and no one really understood or wanted to understand what I was going through (I probably should have been in counseling! I am glad it's mandatory now for children dealing with divorce! At least in the state of MA) I felt like I was stuck in the middle of my parents and their past and I wanted to please BOTH of them. I just wanted to fit in with both sides of my family...well, more like I just wanted both sides of my family to be united and "fit" around me...a wish all divorced kids have at one time or another I am sure...
That is in the past though. I love my dad and stepmother and baby brother and sister. We have a good relationship now. And finally at the age of 25 I was able to talk to my mom and tell her how I felt about everything we went through growing up and that made things a lot easier for us.

My parents are great grandparents and that's what matters most to me now...RaeAnn even got my mom a mother's day card this year that said "To my great-grandma" and reasoned that Gram (my mom) is a "great" Gram. I let her get it just to make my mom feel old hehehe
I love seeing my Mom and Dad interact with RaeAnn, it's a side of them I never seen before and it is quite amusing.
My stepparents are good to her too and in hindsight I can say that they were/are pretty good to me too ;) Although when RaeAnn realized her "meme" was my stepmother she was a bit worried. She asked me, "Meme is a stepmother?" I had to laugh to myself a little, but I nicely explained that not all stepmothers are evil like Cinderella's!

Being a parent now helps me to understand my parents a little bit better...but sometimes it makes me wonder how things happened they way they did. But I know I am lucky to have all 4 of them and I am thankful they are part of my life.