weight & recovery

I've never been sabotaged before by summer BBQs, but this year they got the better of me. I ate like a pig for the past 10 days. And my digestive system without it's gall bladder, has been handling it just fine! I haven't suffered from any of those horrible symptoms I read online. *knock on wood!* But it was the fear of them that kept me on a strict diet the first couple weeks after surgery. My will power sucks and quickly I gave in and tried some cake and tried some french fries and BAM! I'm back to my old ways.
I'm very disappointed in myself and every Monday I try to regain control and I do a good job then I give in by Friday. Next week is going to be even worse since it will be RaeAnn's birthday week and we already have 2 parties and one birthday dinner out planned!!
I try to remind myself that I need to eat healthy to have healthy pregnancy...but that only makes me feel more guilty that I don't. As it should right? Because it is the truth!
I try my hardest to at least be aware of what I am doing so I don't let it get too out of control. So even if I am eating something I really shouldn't, I at least try and control the proportion. I haven't lost any more weight, but I also haven't gained yet, but I know that if I don't stay on top of things it can quickly get WAY out of hand.
I hate that my weight is such a battle, one that I am going to have to constantly fight for the rest of my life! what a bummer!!!
At least I semi-enjoy the gym. If anything it at least gives me some personal time, I can just turn up my ipod and zone out while I get my work out on. I've slowly but surely been getting myself back to where I was before surgery and I am pretty sure I'm there. When I am at the gym I feel great, it's the pain I feel the next day that gets me. All last week I just felt like someone was tugging on my belly button, it was pretty painful :( I "slowed down" a bit and really tried to work my core and that helped out a lot. This week I am going to give my old routine & see how that works out for me. I think I am ready. :))) I'll let you know how it goes!